Nothing to do

I literally am an empty mind these days... having abselutely nothing to do. Except for my brush with failures, scoldings mom's health issues.....nothing. Maybe writing about it will help. SO, Here is my daily schedule....Wake up....Go to PC...go on youtube and put headphones on for some inspirational songs that are enjoyable but seem like a waste of time to me somedays.....Then realizing I gotta take a dookie...then take one... then shower and brush...then breakfast and then sending my Pa off to school. back to PC....later arranging Breakfast for mum and then medicines... again PC... but nothing fruitful other then watching game of thrones episode or dexter or community or some other TV show, But no fruitfulness, no purpose but to wait for my result in hope that I score good  and not get flunk. Its just soo empty. Mind is full of ideas but too lazy to write anything but this.... Porn is the only exciting thing, and thinking about sex when I sleep. Feels like I am turning into a degenerate "punkfull" human. I just wanna do something but Papa's compulsion coupled with mom's condition I don'e feel better at all. I just wanna go out and spread my ideas but at the same time I am laughing at this prospect to do so... gonna leave in an hour to buy sweat shirts. I am getting impatient, but don't know what I am waiting for coz my goals are noble but doubt is there as to whether they are even achievable. I know...I know...Have hope but....Hope ain't enough anymore.. i wanna do more a lot more. I want a purpose and for once succeed in what i want to do... Seems like my fucking head is gonna implode...
                                       But I know that I gotta be hopeful. I am meant for soo much more, I think and menial tasks aren't just gonna cut it. Phew! As I am typing my Pa is playing Voilin and I am finding it disturbing as fuck...but if it is not there I get much more worried.....DA FUCK!! Everyone is doing something and all I got is to sit in front of PC., and do whatever I wish and getting irritated when pops want something for me to download.